Parenting in Public: A Father’s Reflection on Boundaries, Belonging, and the Safety of Our Children From the New Americans Book Fair

By Taiwo Akinlami

The 4th edition of the New Americans Book Fair was held on Saturday, September 20, 2025, at the Columbus Metropolitan Library, Karl Road, Columbus, Ohio. It was a beautiful gathering of writers, thinkers, and readers, a day for ideas to exchange hands and for books to find new homes. I was there to sign copies of my works, to meet with people who had engaged my thoughts on Family Strengthening, Child Safeguarding and Protection, and Value-Based and Child-Focused Parenting.

But I was not there alone. My soon-to-be-four-year-old son was by my side. He is full of life, bubbling with curiosity, and as expected of a boy his age, he can be a handful. His presence at the fair was a difference-maker, not because it disrupted the event, but because it reminded me, right in the middle of my professional lane, that parenting never takes a pause.

While I attended to readers at my table, my son made his own rounds. He ran across the hall, visiting tables, peering curiously at books and people, trying to understand what all of this was about. In his world, it was not a “book fair” in the adult sense; it was an endless playground of faces, colors, and movement. My eyes darted between conversations with adults and the whereabouts of my son. I was trying to serve two masters at once: the audience before me and the child beside me.

At some point, the balance collapsed. He needed more than a fragment of my attention. He needed the devotion of my watch, not to “tame” him, but for his safety. The thought of him darting outside the building or getting lost in the sea of people created a tension within me. I lost my cool, and for a brief moment, I forgot my own creed as a Family Strengthening, Child Safeguarding and Protection Expert, and as a Parenting Ideologue.

What I knew in theory seemed to fly out the window. I was fretting, reacting, almost shaming him for being who he was: a child. That moment has lingered with me. It led to a deeper reflection: What should be the rule of engagement when we bring our children into public spaces? Not just at book fairs, but
in grocery stores, religious gatherings, malls, or even workplaces, adult-centered spaces where children often find themselves, not by choice but by necessity.

1. Children Are Not Intruders
   The first principle is this: children are not intruders. They belong in society. Their presence in public life should not be treated as an aberration. Too often, we act as if the grocery store is no place for a child, the library must remain untouched by children’s noise, and the conference hall should never see the curious footsteps of little ones. Yet, if we say children are the future, why do we act as though they must be hidden from the present? Children are part of the public, and their participation in public spaces is not a privilege, it is a right rooted in their personhood.
2. Preparation Is a Duty
   Belonging, however, does not mean chaos. Parenting in public begins long before the event itself. It means briefing our children about what to expect, explaining in simple terms where we are going and why, and setting boundaries they can understand. For younger children, preparation is not only verbal; it is practical. We bring snacks, toys, or books, tools to help them regulate their energy. Preparation honors their developmental stage without making them feel like burdens.
3. Grace Is Non-Negotiable
   Even with preparation, children will still act as children. They will ask questions at their own time, which we may consider as wrong timing, run when we wish they would sit, and seek attention when we are most distracted. This is not defiance, it is childhood. The temptation for parents, especially in public, is to over-police. We react more out of embarrassment than principle, fearing judgment as indulgent or irresponsible. Grace is the antidote. Grace reminds us that public spaces are not classrooms, and our children are not performers. Grace allows us to guide without humiliating, to supervise without suffocating.
4. Safety Is Sacred
   Still, grace does not eliminate responsibility. Public spaces carry risks: traffic, strangers, distractions. Our duty as parents is safety. This means vigilance, not paranoia. It means positioning ourselves to see and be seen, or sharing responsibility with others when attention risks being scattered.
   In my case at the book fair, my son needed my undivided presence. Not because he was misbehaving, but because the environment required more than casual oversight. The moment I realized that, I also realized why I fretted: safety had been compromised by divided attention.
5. Modeling Is the Hidden Curriculum
   Every outing is also a classroom. Children watch us as we interact with strangers, as we pay at the counter, as we panic or stay calm. We are constantly modeling. Parenting in public is an opportunity: to show patience, to demonstrate boundaries, to embody dignity. When my son sees me attend to people respectfully while also attending to him, he learns that duty and care can coexist. When he sees me apologize instead of explode, he learns that frustration can be managed without violence. Public spaces test not just our children’s behavior but our own maturity.
6. Public Parenting as Cultural Work
   In many cultures, children are expected to be silent in public, seen but not heard. But silence is not discipline, and suppression is not formation. If we want children who can engage the world responsibly, we must expose them to it and guide them through it. Parenting in public, then, is not merely a private struggle; it is cultural work. Each time we bring children into adult spaces and handle it with wisdom, we shift public perception. We declare: “Children are not distractions. They are participants.” Conclusion: The Rule of Engagement
   So, what is the rule of engagement when we take our children into public spaces?
   It is a threefold rule:

• Normalize their presence. They belong.
• Prepare them for participation. Set boundaries with love.
• Guide with grace and vigilance. Safety first, dignity always.
  At the book fair, I lost my cool. But perhaps losing my cool was what it took to regain perspective. My son was not misbehaving; he was being a child. I was the one who needed to adjust to remember that parenting is not suspended in public, and that the world will always be his classroom if I allow it.
  In my #50PlusDad journey, this experience has become a mirror. It shows me that expertise is not immunity from frailty. It shows me that children need more than knowledge from us; they need presence, patience, and practice. Above all, it reminds me that the public is not the enemy of parenting, it is the stage on which parenting proves itself real.
  You are very much welcome to share your related experiences for our learning and examples.
  Do have an INSPIRED week ahead with the family.